Come out of the Wilderness

  I think we all need one big collective time out right now – if only we could give time outs to adults.  Especially when it comes to social media and politics.  The one-upmanship I see on social media these days is quite infantile.  And to be honest, it mirrors why we have a President Trump in the first place.  I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again:  Trump reflects society (not the other way around).  Can we all take a cooling off period and then try to listen to one another?  Because what is going on right now […]

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Wrestling with Survivor’s Guilt

Soon after I was diagnosed with breast cancer, some friends threw me a scarf and hat party.  It was something that my husband suggested to them as a way they could help us.  I’m grateful that they did this for me – after all I needed those hats and scarves and used them a ton (and I use some of them to this day).  Unfortunately, I hated every moment of it.  The party felt weird – that’s the only way to put it.  It felt forced, like we were all walking on eggshells trying to act as though nothing was […]

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Why I Don’t Believe in New Year’s Resolutions

I mentioned last week that I don’t do New Year’s resolutions.  To me, they seem somewhat forced.  Actually, contrived is a better word.  If you REALLY want to change something in your life, why wait until the beginning of a new year to do so?  And we’ve all heard the statistics – most people give up relatively quickly.  Why? Why I don’t believe in New Year’s Resolutions Reason Number 1: Half-Hearted and “Should” Resolutions First, I think that many of us come up with a New Year’s resolution somewhat half-heartedly.  We do it because it’s something that we think we’re […]

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Choose to be the Best Plum (and not a Second-Rate Banana)

Happy, happy, happy New Year! As we move forward into 2017, many of us are making long-term plans for the year and trying to figure out our New Year’s resolutions. I don’t do New Year’s resolutions (more about that next week). However, at the beginning of each year I do think about what I want to accomplish and set some new goals for the year – both personally and professionally. As you go through your process of planning, resolution-making, goal-setting and/or deep thinking (whatever you like to do to kick off the new year), I want to make certain you […]

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Letting Go of Holiday Perfectionism

Do you have issues with holiday perfectionism?  I have suffered from it for years.  It all started with the “perfect” Christmas tree.  Ever since I’ve been married and had my house, my Christmas tree had to have the right amount of lights – several strings of lights deeply set within the tree and several more strings of lights on the outside branches.  One year early in my marriage, my poor husband tried to help.  After an hour of fighting he swore that he would never help me with the tree again (and he hasn’t).   Jeff didn’t quite understand why […]

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It’s Up to You – The Choice to be Happy

I used to know someone who constantly talked about how things would be better when [insert anything].  She would look to the next thing that was supposed to happen in her life (a job promotion, her children getting to the next stage in life – anything really) and she couldn’t wait to get there.  She was certain that next “thing” would make her happy.  But happiness never came to her. I’ve also known people who go on and on about the “good old days” – often referring to their high school and/or college days.  People who never let go of […]

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On Being Grateful

Since this week is Thanksgiving in the United States, my mind is on the subject of being grateful. Although I was definitely thankful for many things prior to being diagnosed with cancer, my cancer journey changed the way I view gratitude. It broadened how I think of gratitude and made me realize that I am grateful for many things that I wouldn’t have previously thought to be grateful for. For example, I’m grateful for my cancer journey.  Not that I had cancer, but the journey that I went through that has forever changed me and, I hope, made me a […]

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Dangerous Assumptions (And How Listening Can Cure This Mistake)

Mom, are you even listing to me?  This is a question that Zachary (my oldest son) asked of me last summer.  He was trying to tell me something that was important to him and I was trying to “listen” to him while doing a million other things.  The unfortunate answer to this question was “no”.  I looked into his face and saw how important it was to him that I truly listen to him (and that I stop thinking about everything else).  On this particular day, he truly caught my attention.  So what did I do?  I answered his question […]

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Stop Justifying Bad Behavior (Instead, Raise Your Personal Standards)

Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that we are at the end of the presidential election season here in the United States (and if you are lucky enough not to live in the US and not know anything about it, you can be thankful for that – but I promise that this post is still applicable to you).  People are obviously fearful and quite worried about the outcome of this election.  I get it.  We have two candidates that, if I do say so myself, pretty much suck.  Neither is good.  I’ve heard all of the arguments […]

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It’s Not About You

One of the things that you learn when you have cancer is who your true friends are – and aren’t.  You find out who will do anything for you when you most need them.  Unfortunately, some people don’t quite measure up.  Even people who you would have sworn would be there for you through absolutely anything – no matter what.  But they aren’t.  At all. I found out the hard way that some people just can’t handle it.  They cannot deal with the ickiness of illness – that someone might die.  They are too afraid of what to say and […]

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